Blood Meridian

Oh god, what to say about this? Took me about half a year to read through it in bits and pieces. I'd get through a portion of violence (true and awful horror treated oh so casually) then not return to it for a few weeks or months until the bitterness subsided. But I was determined to see it through if only to knowingly and silently judge people who praise this book. 

I'm not even sure I engaged the book fully. It was awful (very awful) and beautiful (the prose only sometimes... not the awfulness). While reading, there were sessions that left my body exhausted and my brain blank. This is not my favorite condition to end up, being a husband and father of a five year old. 

I tried to describe my feelings to a friend what the experience of reading this book was like. It was a sunny afternoon and I was having a mezcal (which felt appropriate) and there were only 2 other patrons at the concrete bar. I excitedly compared the book to Link running around in the dark before he manages to wholly light up the dungeon. Just this little guy in green running around seeing only the horror his lantern can illuminate in front of his eyes knowing full well there are other horrors but he can't see them or even imagine them.... then moving on and forgetting the previous horrors to be only in the current horror always. 

He hadn't really ever played Zelda so he just nodded. SMH. I couldn't let it go though, so later I told another friend. He got it. Not sure its a perfect metaphor but feels right to me and I achieved the smug satisfaction of being seen.

So much has been written about this book and discussed. But this is just my personal book log so I don't think there is much more I have to say on it. 

Should you read this book? Probably no. Sorry.

Did I enjoy this book. I dont' know. Probably no. Am I happy I read it? Also probably no. LOL 

But at least now I get to be haunted by the image of the naked Judge forever. 

"He never sleeps. He is dancing, dancing. He says that he will never die."