Gemma gave me this book for Christmas. A slim edition of collages married with short essays & poems reflecting upon, as far as I'm concerned, scenes from a life well lived. Or, if not "well lived" definitely LIVED. And it seems thats what stands out for me. Maybe it's a Chicago traint. Most people don't live well or even live at all... (maybe its easier to not want to?) Maybe I don't even. I think at forty four I'm starting to... 

Liesurely thumbing through the pages this past week, a faint recognition grew in the recesses of my memory of these collages; I have seen them, some of them here and there, over the 20ish years I've been in Chicago. The images, the essays, feel very strongly like the fog of early 2000s Chicago to me. The pre smart phone era, the pre dead internet era... before the bans lifted all the smoke from the bars which then settled over my youth in a haze. I never knew who Tony Fitzpatrick was. Though, I think anyone from Chicago, who was looking (or who has been here by choice for 10+ years) would recognize them.

A personal trait I've been trying to reconcile as I grow older is that I'm immediately anti and uninterested regarding books given to me. Given out of context anyways. Over the years I think I've partially connected this to really just being in love with the journey of discovery that comes with loving books and words... (Oddly I really LOVE giving folks books as gifts. The dichotomy is not lost on me.)

I can claim no ownership to any books, of course, but I do feel a sense of ownership and even attach a sense of myself to books. I know others do this, it is not unique. So when I give a book to a friend, family-member, colleague, acquaintance... it is showing them something of myself. It's an easy way to show "who I am" with a wink. Where I've landed on this whole situation is... when people give me books... its sort of like "this isn't me!".... simply because I have yet to read it so how could it be? Then I have a chip on my shoulder which often colors my reaction to the book, preemptively deciding no this is not for me. NICE TRY [friend or partner or coworker]!!

In this case, pass the knife and fork, I am most happily eating a bit of crow (an apt analogy as a third of the works in the book are about birds). 

It is an easy book to read and enjoy, to pick up and open to any page and find something good. I need more books like this. 

Tony Fitzpatrick passed away on October 11th of this year. He was honest in his writing. He looked for good in people but hated assholes and let you know it. A real Chicagoan gone, joining the ranks of Algren, Turkel, Bellows, Brooks, and Dreiser... and on and on.  I only just met him but I miss him. 

A few favorite passages. 

From Winter Cardinal:

In Tokyo, public greenas and parks are for solitude and reflection; you

won't see a gaggle of assholes throwing frisbees and drinking beer. 

From Chicago Winter Rail:

I try to get out to nature more now, to shut out the noise and find what is good. 

So this was a Book Club choice. It was ok. It felt overly complicated... or the technology and enhancement drugs the characters all seemed to take were just confusing... or that could be my problem. IDK. For modern "Tech Noir" or whatever the F this is... it was entertaining. Perhaps a bit TOO sexy at times, maybe. I'm no prude but I prefer my noir to be a bunch of sexy build up followed by a smirk of a scene with people smoking. Guess I'm just old fashioned that way. Or I just feel dirty when its described in stark terms.

I also started the TV show. I love old boy in it. Dude from The Killing. The show already seems to suffer from the above comments though. 

The other thing about it... its written in first person but the style is `First person as if he were the third person.` As a narrator he really doesn't have much of a style. At least not a style that necessitates the first person. It does seem most books these days are first person so maybe his editors just did a find and replace for `He` and updated them all to `I`. 

Anyhow, halfway enjoyable. 

This was a fun and quick read that my friend Luke put me onto. I probably prefer Michael Shane, Cool & Lam, Mike Hammer, etc. but if you are looking for a not-quite-so-dated bit of private eye type pulp this Travis MCgee book will do the trick.

I'm in a Sci-Fi Book Club. The club consists of an older guy, an older guy than that, another guy even older than that, and me. For reference I'm 44. We've been meeting up at various bars for about a year and a half. It is a joy even when we don't spend the whole time discussing the books. Not all the books we read are good. Most are not tbh. Only maybe one or two have been great. Some get-together's last less than 2 hours but it is a wonderful distraction to hang out intergenerationally. LOL 

I won't wax poetic about future (and maybe past) entries of sci-fi book club but since this is the first time mentioning it I figured I'd give some background. I do intend to denote when a book is part of book club (or a movie is part of movie club). 

This go-round we read Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (soon to be a major motion picture starring Ryan Gosling!). I like the "Gos" fine (Drive for sure) but IDk if Hollywood will screw the movie version of this up or what. Probably they will. I did enjoy the book though. It hit me at a particularly tough time with reading-for-pleasure. I had/have started 4 or 5 books recently and not been able to finish due to boredom or chaos in the world or both or being a dad of a 4.5 year old... or a whole slew of other not-super-interesting or totally-standard person/human reasons. In any event... it got me out of my funk, so there is that. And that is a lot.

I do not love The Martian. Admittedly I have not read the book but the movie is meh. Matt Damon is definitely whatever. I normally love Jessica Chastain and she is under utilized (though that is probably story reasons and not director reasons). Fuck, looking it up again now, the whole rest of the cast are folks I also love... Jeff Daniels, Sean Bean, Sebastian Stan, Michael Peña (HOMETOWN!).... 

Anyhow, Project Hail Mary. I got annoyed with plenty but it was a quick and engaging read and ultimately about friendship in the midst of hardship (the MOST hardship possible probably).... a few times I thought it could go a few different ways and ultimately it went the way I wanted which is somewhat lovely. I'm a big fan of melodrama from the 50s and early 60s and this had a lot of that but it also had a more optimistic ending than Written on the Wind, Leave her to Heaven... if they took place in space. 

Overall I'm glad this book is a thing. 

People should read more. Read anything ffs.

Good Stuff

• Rocky
• The somewhat "Hard Sci-Fi" math etc etc (but not TOO hard)
• Friendship

Bad Stuff

• Whatever... you go write a book